The Power of the NLP Meta Model in Coaching

International Authority of Professional Coaching & Mentoring (IAPC&M)

I believe one of the most powerful tools in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is the Meta Model because it has the power to make any coach more effective. It does this by honing our listening and questioning skills – key skills for any coach – without baffling us with science.

NLP was developed by John Grinder and Richard Bandler in the 1970s. NLP includes a range of proven and powerful techniques such as Neurological Levels, Sub-modalities, and Timeline Therapy as well as the Meta Model.

The Meta Model is a practical and accessible tool that is useful to all coaches, regardless of whether they include NLP techniques in their coaching.

The heart of the Meta Model is the “Art of listening to the unspoken words”. It’s about uncovering the deeper meaning behind a client’s statement to help them find their buried truth. By listening carefully, coaches hear clues they can use to help their clients uncover hidden assumptions and limiting beliefs.

Understanding the NLP Meta Model

“You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.” Naguib Mahfouz (Nobel Prize Winner)

The Meta Model teaches us how our subconscious distorts, generalises, and deletes as it processes a vast amount of data all the time. We call these the three behaviours:

Deletions: Leaves out key details.
Generalisations: Makes broad assumptions to pigeonhole data.
Distortions: Misrepresents or assumes i.e. adds or changes what is factual.

Coaches can help their clients expand their thinking and create lasting change by understanding the Meta Model and perfecting the art of listening. And all this can be done without the need for an NLP certification or accreditation.

Let’s explore these three behaviours in more detail

Deletions – What’s Been Left Out?

Clients often leave out important details in their statements, making their experiences seem more rigid or unclear than they actually are. For example:

Client: “They don’t listen to me.”
Coach: “Who specifically doesn’t listen to you?” or “What makes you believe they are not listening?”

By prompting for specifics, the coach encourages the client to explore the situation in more detail, often uncovering key insights and opportunities for change.

Generalisations – Are We Overlooking Exceptions?

When clients use words like “always,” “never,” or “everyone,” they are often making broad generalisations. These can be inaccurate. For example:

Client: “I never get any opportunities”.
Coach: “When was the last time you did get an opportunity”? or “Who specifically isn’t giving you opportunities”?

Exploring generalisations helps clients see that their experiences are not absolute, giving them a chance to rethink and reframe their “story”.

Distortions – Are We Assuming, Or Is It true?

It’s human nature to make statements based on assumptions or interpretations rather than facts. For example:

Client: “My boss doesn’t like me”.
Coach: “How do you know they don’t like you”? or “What specifically have they done that makes you think that way”?

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